Him? Was it him? The corner, the night market, the coat — no, fog, fog swallowing, swallowing everything, the mist curling, curling like memory, like smoke from a cigarette I never smoked there, never. Years. Years away. Oceans folding, folding under, under the moon, the moon like a watchful eye, is he looking? Would he? Did he ever? Did I?

I stop. No, walk. Walk faster, slower, too slow, too fast, the street moves, they move, everyone moves, everyone except me, except the maybe, the maybe of him, the maybe of us, did we? Could we? Should we? Call out? Laugh? Pretend? Pretend we don’t remember each other? No, he remembers. Or not. Or does he? Perhaps he never even — no, no, stop.

The rain, the rain that never fell that day, dripping, wet, soaking the coat I didn’t wear, the scarf that was never his. Heart, yes heart, slippery, twisting, twisting like the river in the letters I never sent, letters folded, unfolded, folded again, unread. Tea, cold, trembling hand, trembling thought. Did he think of me? Or not? Was I ever a thought? A maybe? A shape in the fog, the mist, the gaslight, the mist curling, curling, curling.

I see him. Or not. The face — was it? No, just shadow, just shadow playing, playing tricks, maybe. He doesn’t know, doesn’t see, doesn’t care? Or cares too much? Or cares too little? Why didn’t he come? Did he think I wouldn’t be here? Did I think I would be? Did we both think, think, think and forget? Or forget too soon?

The street moves on, they move on, they breathe, they laugh, they exist. I — pause. Breathe. Hesitate. Maybe. Maybe not. Memory, memory, memory folds into memory. Smell of wool, wet hair, that laugh, that smile, the way he looked — or not. Did he look? Did I look? I did, I did, and yet — gone, gone, gone, swallowed by fog, by mist, by maybe.

Tomorrow? Maybe. Never? Perhaps. Love? Always maybe, always shadow, always hesitation, never certainty. Always the corner, the shop, the street, the fog curling, curling, curling, me, me, me, question mark, question mark, heart clenching, twisting, slippery, slippery, slippery.